He would send me out on me own quite regularly after that. Sometimes when he needed to rest he would tell me to go look for something, like a specific tree that had toppled over a long time ago, making me spend hours and sometimes even days going back and forth over a small piece of land untill I found the one tree that he had talked about. Then he made me describe it to him and sometimes he would say no, thats not the one I was thinking of and send me out again to see if there was another tree in pretty much the same location and of the same species but slightly different than the one I had found earlier. When I returned later to tell him that there where no other trees that had fallen over anywhere near the place he had sent me to he just shrugged and replied « then it probably was the right one you found the first time» and ask me if I had seen any signs of the ravens nesting in the crag above or if there had been any tadpoles in the pond that I had passed but I had seen neither crag nor pond as I had focused only on finding this illusive tree of his.
And then there were times when he thought that I needed some time on my own and sent me off on one of our rounds or he would give me other tasks that I did not understand the meaning of at first.
«Go out tomorrow, bring water and something to eat and walk for an hour, then sit down and wait for the sun to rise».
And when I came back he would ask me what I had found or if I had brought something back and if I told him that I had found something or even brought something for him he would laugh and tell me that I had found nothing at all and that I would have to do it all over again the next day.
And I would lay down to sleep that night, exhausted yet finding no rest, waiting to go out again the morning after, wondering what I was supposed to find, doubting that the next trip would yield anything other than the previous ones.
The next day I headed out none the less. Walking towards the sun this time, following her as she moved across the sky I climbed like she did for a while then descending with her as I forgot to pay attention to the time. Not knowing how long I had walked or where I was I sat down and quenched my thirst which had gone unnoticed again.
When my breath caught up with me I started looking around at the place I had ended up. There was nothing to see except for trees and some moss covered rocks and somewhere below me I could hear a river falling into a pool, sounding like a distant thunderstorm. The trees were so dense that I could not see more then a few meters except for one direction where a game trail came climbing up towards where I sat, carrying the sound of the waterfall with it and disturbing the stillness that I would have immediately felt without the noise.
By pure chance I had stopped by a tree that had fallen over which allowed me to lean back and rest myself without laying down.
I put my head down on the trunk and saw a line of ants carrying a larvae along the dead tree and I followed them down to where the tree had once stood, where their anthill now had taken its place.
As they returned others did as well, carrying leaves and larvae, eggs and other dead ants while new patrols were going out on the tree again as well as any other direction, following the game trail or crawling through the mossy ground looking for anything that they could bring back to their home.
As I sat there watching them work the sun descended further and the day grew darker until the forest started to come alive.
An elk that had been resting not far from where I had sat down started moving around below me before coming up the game trail, passing not far from me without giving me much notice. Maybe he didnt care about my presence or maybe he didnt perceive me as a threat either way he moved on, gliding through the forest before disappearing somewhere above me.
I remained seated by the fallen tree, eating a bit then listening to the sound of the river again which had turned from a thunderstorm into a soothing rush of water, still loud enough for me to understand how high the fall was as well as the depth of the pool, almost so that I could feel the mist it created landing on my skin. I was tempted to go down there, to let it cool me down and even though I had already broken my instructions by walking far longer than the one hour I was supposed to I decided to stay faithfull to my instructions and remain seated where I had first sat down, feeling the mist of the waterfall only in my mind.
The sound of the water diminished further as the evening grew darker, allowing me to take in the sounds of the forest as well. I could hear it moving around out there, a hare jumping past me, stopping as she caught my scent then continuing further off without caring who it was she had passed in the dark. And then, as the night grew close to completion, just before it turned around and reached for the light again, a mere glimpse before I would leave this world for a little while and fall into the realm where my dreams reside a cat emerged from the night, slowly moving up the trail, sliding towards me, revealing her tigerstripes containing all the colours of the world, coming closer until she was within reach of my arms and I remember thinking or maybe even I said it out loud that this is it, that this is where it happens and then she turned away and disappeared again, just before I could reach out and touch her. Leaving me as if she had never been there at all, leaving me doubting my senses, doubting if it had been real or if it had been a dream I sat there waiting for the dawn, waiting for the day to emerge so that I could go back to the old man who no doubt was wondering what I had seen.
Without knowing it I retraced my steps on my way back, ascending with the sun where we had once descended, finally reaching my destination as she finished her ascent and readied for her journey towards the evening and the night.
He was sitting outside when I got home, having started a fire and lit his pipe, waiting for the fire to calm down a bit so that he could cook a meal that he had prepard for us.
«So, he said after I had sat down, did you walk for an hour like I told you to?»
«No», I answered expecting to be told that I would have to do it all over again the next day.
«Huh, he replied, looking at me with those eyes that I never could tell if were amused or puzzled or annoyed, why not?»
«I started following the sun and just went along until I needed to sit down and have a drink.»
«And what did you see at this spot where you decided to sit down and have a drink?»
«Trees» I answered bluntly which of course made him burst out in laughter.
«Anything else?»
«I saw ants running along a dead tree carrying larvae, leaves and dead ants back to their anthill.»
«Did you see anything that you did’nt notice at first?»
«There was an elk laid up just below me that got up and walked by later in the evening.»
«Aha, anything else?»
I could see that he was harbouring a laugh so I waited a minute and thought about what I should say next, then I continued: «I saw a waterfall that I could not see and I felt the mist from her even though she was’nt there.»
He stopped smoking and put his hands on his knees.
«Then I encountered a cat that disappeared in front of me, she had a thousand colours yet her tigerstripes where black and white» I said, as pleased with my answer as I was confused by the whole experience.
He did’nt laugh this time he just looked at me and then he asked me: «And what do you make of that?»
«I dont know, I answered truthfully as I had no idea what to make of my nightly encounter, what do you think?»
«Tell me what the waterfall looks like, the one you didnt see».
«I`d say its a tree meters wide river that drops about ten meters into a deep pool, the forest somewhat less dense
down there than where I sat listening to it.»
«I think you should go back there and see for yourself if that depiction is accurate or if it is different from what you think».
He continued preparing dinner for us and we sat there by the fire in silence untill we finished our meal, then we talked while the flames flickered and eventually died out before he left me alone, knowing that I would head back there tomorrow he told me to choose a different route, one which would make me follow the river upstream to the waterfall instead of walking down to it from above.
The next day I woke earlier than him and headed out before he had gotten up. I followed the route he had told me to which led me down to the river where it was possible to wade across. I turned to my left as I reached the middle of
the stream and waded through a shallow pool before walking along the bank for a little while. I kept going in an out of the river wherever it suite me until I could hear the thundering of the waterfall, the sound being muffled in a way that did’nt seem to be caused by the forest. I could see a drop in the terrain above me as I got closer, which made me certain that I would see the waterfall at any minute, still the sound was muffled and there were no moisture in the air indicating that there was a waterfall close by. A sudden drop
in the temperature told me that I was getting near and as the forest opened up I cold see the river coming out of a gorge where she had dug down into the limestone that made up parts of these hills, forming a crevice which contained the waterfall. I followed the passage through a bend then another and there, maybe fifty meters from the entrance I reached the waterfall that sprung out into the air twenty meters above me, hitting a ledge halfway down that made the water shoot out into the air again before finally landing in a large pool where I now stood with water reaching my knees.
I stood there in the mist until my clothes where soaked and I took them off and threw myself naked into the water, leaning backwards and floating on my back, looking up at the sky with my ears submerged so that the thundering sound were silenced, enhancing the vibrations made from the tons of water that came crashing down from above.
I lay there in the water until I was shaking so bad that I had to get out, then I sat there in my wet clothes knowing that I had to start moving, that I had to get back and into something dry, reluctently turning away from this magnificent feat of nature, knowing that I would come back here again as soon as I possibly could.
I climbed up beside the waterfall and followed the game trail up passed the dead tree where I had watched the ants and seen the cat, up into the sun who were on her way down again, still warm enough to heat me up a bit as I retraced my steps yet again.
When I got back home again the old man had built a roaring fire for me to warm myself by, looking more than a little pleased with himself that he had guessed what would happen when I found the waterfall.
«Did it look anything like you tought it would?» he asked me as I sat down, shivering with the palms of my hands seeking the warmth of the fire.
«No, it looked nothing like what I thought» I replied with a smile on my lips as I pictured the water coming down upon me, making the pool vibrate around me as I lay shivering in the water.
«What did it look like then?» he asked, tilting his head and looking at me as if waited to hear the punchline of some joke.
«It was the most beautifull thing I have ever seen, I answered, it was beyond words.»
«Do you understand now what you saw the last time you where out there in the woods, what it was you encountered
in the night?»
«No, I can’t seem to grasp it, its like I understand it briefly then it gets away from me.»
«Well, if the waterfall you saw without having seen it did not look like you thought, then what about the cat that came out
of the darkness and disappeared before you?»
«I dont know.»
«That’s because you only trust your senses and your thoughts.»
«What else is there?»
«Hah, exactly, what else is there.»
«Well, what should I do to make sense of it?»
«Trust the world kid and the world will love you in return», he said and leaned back to enjoy his pipe, «and make me
something to eat, I’m starving.»
